The wonderful thing about being willing to grow as a person is that opportunities begin to present themselves that you may have otherwise overlooked. You step into new roles. You take on more responsibility. Ultimately your time management skills get tested.
My past 7 days have been filled to the brim. It's the reason I haven't been able to dedicate time for this blog. Every day has felt like there isn't enough time in a day to get everything done. From the moment I wake up, to the moment I fall asleep, there is constantly something I'm doing for my kids, my spouse, my business, my home, my mind, or my wellness. I took one day to indulge in not pressuring myself to get so much done, and to be honest it didn't make me feel relaxed. Most of my relaxing time was spent planning in my head what my next moves should be.
Recently, as in, the past several weeks, I started praying that I would be used as a vessel for some greater good. Before I come to my computer to write, I spend some time in silence asking that I be of service to others and that something I share will inspire a positive change in someone else. Take my ego out of it, and just do something good. It's been a reality for me now, witnessing the inspiration manifest in others.
I feel incredibly grateful and blessed to have the opportunity to honor my calling. The last thing I want to do is disappoint my co-creator (the Divine) by falling into old bad habits. Procrastinating when I feel overwhelmed, or just giving up all together, those are old identities and they don't serve me on this journey anymore.
So, I'm focusing on strengthening my ability to switch gears.
When I started this blog, my intention was simply to share what I experience and learn when it comes to all things wellness, in hopes of helping others. I committed to one year of blogging with no end goal except to be consistent for 1 full year. Initially I tried to write every day, but it was too much to commit to. So, I started adopting an every other day schedule or every 2 days, which was really helpful because it gave me time to experience life and have something to write about. Things were steady until this past week. I just couldn't compromise my sleep in order to fit everything in. Even as I write this right now I know I need to make my sleep a priority but I also have to balance that with the commitment I've made to be consistent for 1 year.
It's a test of my integrity. Testing the value of my word. Challenging me to see if I'll give up or give in.
Instead of giving up all together, I'm focusing on adapting to the new challenges of my daily schedule. I'm trying to figure out how to do all the things I want to do, and the things I have to do. The only way that makes sense to me is to allow myself to write if something comes to me, share it if it will benefit someone, but to only hold myself accountable for 1 blog a week.
It's a lesson I learned from reading "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. I have to reduce this new habit into a very small easily achievable one. When the habit is so easy that it takes very little effort to accomplish, then there will be more energy to give to it. And at the end of the day, I want what I put out to be more about quality not quantity.
This blog has been such a huge catalyst for change in me. Forcing myself to do something out of my comfort zone, putting myself out there for potential criticism, risking my integrity, being vulnerable, these are all things that have stopped me from growing in the past. Now that I'm doing it, it's become less scary. I also have a certain mindset about it, which is, if no one reads this, that's ok, at the end of the day it's more about the intention than the outcome.
Focus on your intentions and less on your outcomes.
My intention right now is to get this out into the universe so I can put my mind at ease when I lay my head on my pillow. I'll go to bed tonight knowing I kept my commitment to get it done.
Hopefully, a week from now, I will have more value to share with you.